"I think my mouth just opens and I spontaneously say things that occur to me"
-Helena Bonham Carter
Always got my nose in a book or my head in the clouds. Sometimes both.
Who is the greatest person in the entire world (hint hint you're talking to her right now)


Alexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hello friend







I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”



Is ‘excuse me’ impolite in other countries?

I think it depends on the tone. Saying ‘excuse me’ would probably be polite if you said it with the right tone, but sounding impatient/annoyed when saying it would make it sound rude. :)

Who is/are your best friend(s)?


I don’t really have a ‘best’ friend, I feel bad for everyone else because I personally feel like I’m glorifying one person over the rest of my friends, and although I’m fine with other people having ‘best’ friends, I don’t feel comfortable doing so myself, if that makes sense?



Some Very British Problems (x

  #me    #all of them are me    #all    #of    #them  


It’s so rewarding to see teachers acting fake when the principal comes in the classroom



there are about 15 chickens clucking mysteriously in my front yard and I want to know what they are plotting 

Something fowl.

  #Alex look its a pun  
Opinion on lesbians?


I don’t really have a strong opinion on any sexual orientation - most of the time it has nothing to do with me, and if somebody’s happy, I don’t see how it could possibly be a problem. You be who you want to be, and I don’t think the gender/genders you’re attracted to have anything to do with whether you’re a good person or not. Live and let live :)



the fact that there are no leaked nudes on my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

  #exactly    #respect people's right to a private life kids  

zodiac bitches


aries: angry bitch
taurus: hungry bitch
gemini: loud bitch
cancer: weird bitch
leo: bITCH
virgo: quiet bitch
libra: indecisive bitch
scorpio: bitchy bitch
sagittarius: funny bitch
capricorn: ambitious bitch
aquarius: crazy bitch
pisces: sensitive bitch

  #accurate    #im a virgo    #like yeah I talk a lot around people I trust    #but by the same token    #I will easily go a week speaking the bare minimum I have to  


Put this on my tombstone.

  #lp    #ts  

This is a fantastic vauseman picture. Laura Prepon Taylor Schilling


This is a fantastic vauseman picture. Laura Prepon Taylor Schilling

  #lp    #ts